Who Wants To BNP A Millionaire?

TAKEN FROM AN UN-AIRED EPISODE OF WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.

Chris Tarrant: “Hello and welcome back to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? I’m still here with Al Beano. He’s currently got £100.00. You ready to win some serious money, Al?”
Al Beano: “Mmm, certainly Mr. Tarantino.”
CT: “It’s Tarrant, honey.”
AB: “Mmm, Britain has got Tarrant. Mmm.”

[Audience boos & hisses. One man set's himself on fire and charges the stage.]

CT: “Thanks, Al.”

AB: “Look at my face, Chris. It’s wonderful.”

[Awkward 12 minute silence.]

CT: “Okay, let’s play!  Al, for £200… “

[Question pictured below.]

..

AB: “I would like to phone my brother.”
CT: “Are you sure? Take your time.”
AB: “Chris! You must allow me to call my brother!”
CT: “Okay, cool your jets, Al. Damn, you’re like an out of control beast… Okay, who do you want to call?”
AB: “Chris, you childish honky! Call my brother… NOW!”
CT: “Right. The next voice you hear will be your that of your brother Nick. You will only have 30 seconds, so use it wisely. Good luck.”
AB: “I don’t like your tone. Let me communicate with my sibling.”

[Uses phone a friend option.]

[Ring, Ring]

..

[Ring, Ring]

Nick Griffin: “Hello?”
CT: “Hello Nic…”
AB: “Chris, shut it!”
NG: “Who is this?”
AB: “It’s your brother.”
NG: “Oh. Hi sweety. Who was that?”
AB: “Chris so-and-so – not important. Answer me this.”

[Reads question and possible answers.]

..

NG: “Al, you ninny. That is SOOO easy. Even a thicky head knows that. Even a black thicky head knows that!”
AB: “Just answer the fucking question you fat faced, glass eyed, bed-shitter!”
NG: “Sorry, Al… I’m…I’m so terribly sorry. You can have my black fruit pastels.”
AB: “Just tell me the correct answer or I will slit your working eyeball with a straight edge razor!”
NG: “It’s: C. The answer is: Me: Chris ‘KKK’ Tarrant. Al, I’m speaking the truth. Please, I need a wee!”
AB: “Thanks, bro. Check ya later. Sweet!  It’s: C, Chris. That answer is: C. Easy!”

[Ends call.]

CT: “Final answer?”
AB: “Chris… Your face. You’ve changed.”
CT: “Are you sure? Is that your final answer?”
AB: “CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!”
CT: “You’re wrong! Dickhead!”

..

[Chris Tarrant produces a home-made Teleportation device and fires it at Al Beano. The results are catastrophic.]

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